<aside> <img src="/icons/light-bulb_yellow.svg" alt="/icons/light-bulb_yellow.svg" width="40px" /> It takes a whole village to raise a child - Nigerian Igbo community proverb
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Growing up in a middle-class family in southern Nigeria, I experienced firsthand how the environments in which many people grow up can influence their life trajectories. I also met many intelligent people. I was privileged enough to be born to parents with a substantial value for education and who spent a lot of their savings to ensure my brother and I went to the best schools in our home country.
While that contributed to where I am today, it’s hard not to reckon that other factors were at play, such as the friends I met, the information I was exposed to, unique experiences, and time invested, to name a few. Because of these experiences, things became a lot better right out of university since there was a higher prospect of job opportunities in the field I chose to study and the prestige of the university I attended in my home country.
Some people place absolute blame on circumstances, while others place complete trust in their efforts. Both sides could logically argue why they think that is so—possibly giving substantial personal experiences to further back their point of view. While I could probably not disagree with those claims, I believe both ideologies intersect, and there are still non-overlapping ideologies.
All we are and whatever we’ll ever be is the cumulative result of past experiences, circumstances, privileges, and opportunities we encounter as we live each moment. These factors' net positive or negative benefits dictate our trajectory.
With the passing of every day, many seek purpose and meaning in life. While some have defined purpose as accumulating material assets, this definition has never aligned with how I view purpose.
Looking back, it is undeniable that many people played vital roles in the components that made up my being. Judging purpose and its achievement on material assets could automatically disqualify people I have met across life’s journey since many might not meet this criterion. But having firsthand experience of how such individuals have shaped my life and many people's lives, I am begged to question that definition.
If the trajectory of people’s lives is shaped by the cumulative of multiple components and experiences, then I chose to view what defines me by how much net positives I, as an individual, can contribute to another. If possible, be able to contribute a higher net-positive that trumps other net-negative factors they are influenced with. It could be through mentorships, counseling, sacrificing for others, sharing personal experiences, and even going the extra mile for someone else.
As the world becomes more self-centered, there will be an increasing need for people who can be net positives in others' lives. When that time comes, will we choose to be self-focused or willing to go the extra mile, not because we would derive any benefit, but simply because being genuinely concerned for people is the core of our being?
Moments will come and go as time passes. When we can influence someone else's life, I hope we remember the commitments we made to ourselves while reading this and throughout our journey.
While it can be challenging to separate the various factors that have shaped us, we should not use that as an excuse to surrender control of our lives to others. Ultimately, we are the most influential factor in our lives, and I plan to explore this further in my writing.